Words

Via MelodysBlog

Its about time

via The Classy Issue

Hold on to your dreams

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.

-Langston Hughes


(via MonaMade)

Go with the flow

Via Zulu Dancer

Expansion

Via Poor Artists


I've been working on my album for about 2 and a half years. Not every day or every week, but on and off. I have also been writing (fiction) and that has been something calming and therapeutic for me. Whilst it has been therapeutic for the past few years I have started feeling a little stuck. Stuck and broken. I came across this image on Poor Artist and it spoke to me.

The sculpture (entitled Expansion) is the work of artist Paige Bradley “From the moment we are born, the world tends to have a container already built for us to fit inside: a social security number, a gender, a race, a profession,” says Bradley. “I ponder if we are more defined by the container we are in than what we are inside. Would we recognize ourselves if we could expand beyond our bodies?” (via Poor Artists)

Like the woman in the sculpture I am trying to find inner peace when I feel so broken. The past few years have been about my creativity that I may very well have forgotten about ll my other needs. I want to travel, I want to COMPLETE my album and books, I want something different. I need a change so badly. I also need peace. There has been waaaay too much 'fighting and struggling' in my life lately.

Marcee turns 30 in September and we have agreed to embark on 'make small changes' journey. Small changes will hopefully lead to big changes. Wish me luck and strength.

Porcelain. Out!

Holiday Needed

I have never been on holiday in my life. I don't mean it in the 'Beyonce takes a year off from her busy schedule' sense. I mean I have never packed my bags and gone somewhere to enjoy the sites etc. Visiting my parents and family in Soweto doesn't count ha haha.

I NEED to GO on HOLIDAY. You hear me universe and Grand Organised Design? I NEED to GO on HOLIDAY!

Via theclassyissue

I thank you.

No Country For Women

I remember how MAD South Africans were when Charlize Theron did the 'real men don't rape' ad below.



This morning I cried when I read the news about the 16/17 year old girl who was gang raped. Not only was the whole thing filmed but it has gone viral. According to this CNN article (and Charlize) a woman is raped in South Africa every 26 seconds. It truly is shocking when not being raped is a matter of luck in my country.

I'm both mad and sad that this happens all the time in South Africa. I will never stop being mad or sad. I refuse to accept that this is how we live. Even more infuriating is that there were people on Twitter who were asking to see the video. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE PEOPLE?!

I wonder what those who were infuriated by Charlize Theron's ad have to say now? I'm tired of hearing the outraged voices of women only. I would love to hear from the men too.

Heart is heavy.

That is why he is a MASTER!

February Book 1 (Memoirs of an Outsider)

Zakes Mda is one of my favourite authors, so much so that this month I am reading two of his books. I was reading Cion when I bought Sometimes there is a Void (Memoirs of an Outsider). I stopped reading Cion, not because it was boring but because my curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know where my favourite authors was from, where his love for writing came from, what his childhood was like etc.

I was unable to put this book down. It made me realise just how little I knew about the history of Lesotho and the 'arts scene' in South Africa. It almost felt like I had gone to visit him in his home and every day was spent just listening to him talk. I am not disappointed that I bought the book. His honesty made me appreciate him even more.

source

I will be reading Cion for the rest of the month. 2 book in February? I'm impressed with myself *wink*

Speak!

"If you are silent about your pain, they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it"

- Zora Neale Hurston

Came by this quote on MonaMade. I couldn't stop nodding. I used to suffer in silence. Now I suffer no more.

January Book (A Mercy)

I've decided that I'm going to try and read at least 1 book a month in 2012. In January I sat down with a book that I had bought and then proceeded to run from: A Mercy by Toni Morrison. I ran from the book for almost a year. I just didn't feel ready to read it. The 'right time' finally arrived and boy am I glad that it did. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I am a Toni STAN. I love her work and cannot be reasoned with when it comes to it.

 

Via SFGate

I don't believe in reviewing music or books, something about it feels unclean to me. I will tell you how this gorgeous book made me feel though: I was wrapped up in Toni's words and never wanted to leave the world they created around me.

I tried to read it slowly, but my hunger and curiosity got the better of me. The January book was AMAZING!!

Lesson of the week (Pick up the phone)

I'm sure you are familiar with his journey and how long it took me to start looking outside of South Africa (for opportunities). When I started out I was being told by record label execs, small time producers, people with no industry knowledge, radio presenters and their grandmothers that I couldn't do it. I'm a middle child, proving people wrong is what I do for fun, so none of that BS got to me. My manager (and everything) Marcee eventually got tired of hitting her head against a brick wall and decided to approach radio stations outside of South Africa.

Immediately we were struck by how open and accepting they were of the music. Not because the music was shoddy but because rejection had become the norm. So Marcee got music playlisted in 36 countries. At this point we thought it was safe to try at home again. We sent out CDs and every time Marcee made the follow up calls, she got excuses about the CDs never arriving or a million other excuses as to why they hadn't listened to the songs.

This morning I was so fed up with how difficult it was becoming, so I decided to call the 'culprits'. I don't feel entitled to airplay in SA, but expecting to be treated is something I do think I deserve. By the time I had gone through all the phone calls I realised how tough it is in some regions (for SABC radio stations). One music compiler told me that the post office is far away from where they are. They have to go pick the packages up themselves and they don't even get all of them most times. Another didn't even have access to email. They were all really patient with me as we worked out systems that would ensure that the music arrived when it was supposed to arrive. Until I had spoken to these compilers I really had no idea how 'broken' the systems in place are. It put the entire (South African) music industry into perspective for me.

Lesson of the week: Don't get mad. Pick up the phone and find how YOU can make the situation better. Sometimes that's all it takes.

Every day

I wake up every single morning and do something that terrifies me: living my dream. Sometimes its easy (like when I write songs all day or am in studio recording) and sometimes not so much (when bills need to be paid and when people think that I need to justify my life choices). My life has become one big balancing act.

I am no longer on the pursuit of happiness. I've had joy in me all the time. Now I am learning to enjoy the balance. Dr Demartini said you cannot want the coin (in this case my dreams) and not accept both sides of the coin. Some days are easy and others are really tough.

I'm learning. I'm growing. Every single day.

Lana

Sometimes you're up. Sometimes you're down. Always keep your head up.




I watched only 1 min of both the songs she performed on SNL. I think it was just nerves. She definitely gave a better performance on Jools Holland *shrug*. I am not a fan, but I think that she will be fine.

Lesson of the week (Potential)

Marcee often says to me "don't listen to what people say. Listen to what they do." This week I learned to listen and let go.

I have always been a people person, but not in a conventional way. I thrive in social situations; getting to know people has always been fun for me. My mom says my parents took me along when they went to register me for creche. While they were being given the tour, I stayed behind in one of the classrooms and started talking to the other kids and learning the songs they were being taught. Ma only realised that her daughter was missing when they reached the office. When she eventually found me I asked her if I could stay in the class while they were busy. So you see how much I love new experiences and people.

My love for other people stops when I have to work. I do not work well with others... Well this was until I decided to pursue my dreams. I quickly learned that there were many other people involved in the making of an album and I would have to grow up (just a little). I am less of a pain in the ass to work with, but somewhere in the back of my mind there is a voice whispering 'that person is gonna fuck up, so don't take your eye off the ball'.

This week 2 people 'left' the project (reasons don't matter) and I was not surprised. In the pursuit to be a 'team player' (I dislike that word), I started putting a lot of emphasis on potential and ignoring everything else (including results). 'Surely if that person had potential then I would be a 'bad person' if I denied them an opportunity to develop it?' Obviously I now know how ridiculous (and arrogant) that is.

Potential (n): a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed.
  

Lesson of the week: A person's potential is NONE of my business. I should instead be focusing on what that person is DOING.

P.S I am not mad at the people who 'left the project', that would be immature. They were both very honest with me and I really value honesty. This post is not about them, but about the lesson that I have learned form the experience. I cannot grow if I do not learn from my experiences. I am grateful for the experiences and the lessons.

Perfect Timing

Was checking out some of my fav blogs and found this quote:

This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.

— Kelly Cutrone

  

Via MonaMade

Off my chest

I can't sleep. It seems that when I take a step in the right direction, something else goes wrong. I am in a boat and people are poking holes in it. So now I am 'plugging' holes and trying to steer. I wish this was a journey that someone had already taken because then I would have instructions on how to do this. I am in completely unfamiliar territory. Been prescribed meds for anxiety (stress is causing near-blinding migraines), but I will rely on food, meditation and exercise (to get me through this).

Putting on my Samurai face.

I LOVE Samurai Champloo

 Image via Nerd Locker

Just believe

via melody's blog

Sankara

I know its already the 22nd, but this does not make him any less significant. On the 21st of December in 1949 Thomas Sankara was born. Happy birthday and rest in power King.

"The revolution and women’s liberation go together. We do not talk of women’s emancipation as an act of charity or because of a surge of human compassion. It is a basic necessity for the triumph of the revolution. Women hold up the other half of the sky."  - Thomas Sankara

source

I wonder...

I wonder if he knows how much I love his smile...